Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
