ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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