Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize