I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
