Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize