what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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