whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
