Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is Oprah even human
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
