I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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