Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
