FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So many bounce houses so little time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize