the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize