R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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