I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You ate ashes out of my bong
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
