she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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