Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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