Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
