There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I look better un-naked...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
