ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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