Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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