I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
