he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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