so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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