i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
