Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize