You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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