I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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