with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
