someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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