Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize