I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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