Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
