have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
