My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
