call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
