My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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