Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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