See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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