if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
