Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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