I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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