Even water is tasting like jack daniels
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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