My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
