dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize