The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
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im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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