The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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