Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
