A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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