if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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