he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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