i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
