You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
