Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
